FSMoPathy (from German: Die FSMoPathie; english: the Flying Spaghetti Monster takes over your suffering) is a new traditional school of mild and alternative healing, which is coequal to the traditional school of mild and alternative healing called homeopathy. Homeopathy has not been improved for two hundred years, but I have become inspired by it. Let us replace the old dusty ghosts from Samuel Hahnemann by the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the most beautiful of all Goddesses. Ramen.
Homeopathic treatment surely is good for the patient, because a serious homeopath, a person of authority, a god in white interviews the patient for a long time. Your family doctor only takes a view minutes time to listen to you. We could say that the homeopathic interpersonal element enforces the placebo effect. Let us now use this knowledge to rationalize homeopathy.
To apply the scientifically sound healing method called FSMoPathy, please continue to consume the homeopathic healing services of your choice. But you could also come to me and tell me your little problems. I guess I am not very much more expensive than the average homeopath. As soon as the homeopath (or I) have found the just magic-occult remedy for you individually from the homeopathic pharmacopoeia (or from the FSMoPathic pharmacopoeia), we are going to change procedure a bit.
Instead of giving you the highly potentiated homeopathic remedy, which was produced by the homeopathic pharma industry, we give you pure water, pure sugar or pur alcohol, which have been impinged with the hyperethereal Healing Information of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This new kind of remedy shall from now on be called FSMoPathy. Ramen. FSMoPathic remedies shall, just like homeopathic ones, be mad from original mother tincture, where the information is extracted from! I have seen and written down the most important original mother tinctures.
For manufactoring FSMoPathic remedies we could use the FSMoSophic principle of the Ur-information, which is related to the Grander-information scheme:
However, we also can speak the healing information directly onto raw globules, we will do this by mentioning the latin name of the respective mother tincture. I think that I am going to concentrate on the second method, the vocalization method for the final manufactoring process.
Ben Goldacre says: By the end of this section you will know more about evidence-based medicine and trial design than the average doctor.
Zeit.de says: [Prof. Ezard Ernst] rekrutierte drei Homöopathen, um Kinder mit Asthma zu behandeln. 96 Kinder wurden aufgeteilt: Die eine Gruppe sollte ein Placebo bekommen, die andere homöopathische Globuli. Weder die Kinder noch die Eltern oder die Homöopathen wussten, welcher Gruppe ein Kind angehörte. Die Homöopathen verschrieben jedem Kind das Mittel ihrer Wahl, dann faxten sie das Rezept an eine Londoner Apotheke, die Apotheke schickte Globuli und Placebo (nur mit A und B gekennzeichnet) an den Notar, und dieser händigte — nach Abgleich mit der Liste — eines von beiden den Eltern aus.
Die Studie erfüllte den höchsten Standard der evidenzbasierten Medizin: Sie war randomisiert, weil die Kinder per Zufallsgenerator ausgewählt wurden, placebokontrolliert, weil sie die Medizin mit der Wirkung eines Placebos verglich, und sie war doppelblind, weil weder die Homöopathen noch die Kinder wussten, wer das Placebo und wer die mutmaßliche Medizin schluckte. Das Ergebnis war ernüchternd: Die Globuli wirkten nicht besser als das Placebo.
Inspired by current homeopathic research, I suggest to conduct a scientific double-blind test for the effectiveness of FSMoPathic remedies (water, sugar, alcohol, on which the vocalization ceremony has been performed, which adds the Healing Information from the FSM). This claim can be seen as a claim not fulfilling the needs for scientability and thus, it might be rejected from researchers. But that is not a problem for the science of FSMoPathy, because the science of homeopathy does not comply with scientability, either. And homeopathy is recognized in public research. To compromise between scientability and FSMoPathy, I have found a valid study design, which can be used to test FSMoPathy (or as well homeopathy) with respect to a worthy partner: the placebo (water, sugar, alcohol).
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