The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is the deity of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarianism, a movement that promotes a light-hearted view of religion and opposes the teaching of intelligent design and creationism in public schools. Although adherents describe Pastafarianism as a genuine religion, it is generally seen by the media as a parody religion.
Ramen, sisters, brothers and pirates! The time has come where the FSM is not a parody anymore. More and more people show a true believe in His Noodly Holyness and more and more pirates are coming up again. More and more world citicens pray in that way or another:
Ich glaube an das Fliegende Spaghettimonster, die Mutter, der niemals die Energie ausgeht, die Gebärende des sphärenklingenden Himmels und der evolutionsfreien Erde.
Und an Bobby Henderson, SEINEN Propheten,
empfangen durch das World Wide Web,
geboren von seiner lieben Mama,
gelitten unter Kreationisten,
genervt, gelangweilt und veralbert,
hinabgestiegen in das Reich des Fundamentalismus,
am dritten Tage aufgestanden zwischen Deppen,
seine Website angegangen; sitzend vor seinem Laptop, dem allezeit flatline;
von dort wird er kommen, zu parodieren die Dummen und Drögen.
Ich glaube an das World Wide Web mit dem heiligen Pastafaritum,
Gemeinschaft der Pastafari und ihres Monsters,
Vergebung der Torheit,
an den Bier-Vulkan und an die Stripper-Fabrik.
More and more world citicens live after
The Eight „I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts“
- I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing My Noodly Goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject. OK?
- I’d really rather you didn’t use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and / or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices and purity is for drinking water, not people.
- I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this in your thick heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion. Then, I’m sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
- I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is, „Go f*** yourself,“ unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
- I’d really rather you didn’t challenge the bigoted, misogynist, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then, go after the B******.
- I’d really rather you didn’t build multimillion-Dollar churches / temples / mosques / shrines to My Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick) A) Ending poverty, B) Curing diseases, C) Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable. I might be a complex-carbohydrate, omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM The Creator.
- I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And, I told you to love your fellow man. Can’t you take a hint?
- I’d really rather you didn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, umm, stuff that uses a lot of leather / lubricant / Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (Pursuant to #4), then have at it. Take pictures. But for the love of Mike, WEAR A CONDOM! Honestly, it’s a piece of rubber. If I didn’t want it to feel good when you did it, I would have added spikes or something.
AAAARRRRRrrrr, join us to save the world!